Today, May 27, 2024, is the 53rd wedding anniversary for Dawn and me. She is my partner in our lifetime adventure of challenges and travel. Through respect and love, together we to make a good team. Fall 1969, before I actually met Dawn, I was studying at our UC college library when I met her roommate, Kathy. Kathy and I recognized that we lived in nearby apartments in the same apartment building, and we sat down and started to introduce ourselves (much better than studying). Kathy was a California native from Marin County. I mentioned that I was a newcomer to the State after service in the Pacific with the US Navy. Kathy said, "You should meet my roommate, Dawn, she also enjoys visiting new places." Little did I know then how prophetic that would be.
Later that Fall, in the political chaos of the Vietnam War, riots were taking place on the UC Santa Barbara campus (anti-war, anti-establishment) at that time. Watching from the rooftop deck of our apartment building as a crowd of rioters clashed with hundreds of police in the streets below, our fellow apartment dwellers, mainly students, were sympathetic to the “students” being abused by the “pigs”. A significant portion of the rioters were lowlife hoods who had driven up from LA to create trouble. On the roof deck I noted one girl, a tall blonde, who was arguing in support of the police. She pointed out the gross vandalism and violence of the rioters and that the police were only restoring order. (The riots had been going on for several days and would continue until 400 National Guard arrived and took charge with fixed bayonets, a curfew, ID checks, and roadblocks.)
I took the side of this cute
blonde in her argument against her student opposition. Having returned directly
from Vietnam to this “Ivory Tower” existence (looking out over the Pacific
Ocean), I had no sympathy for their misdirected protests. We left the rooftop
that evening without speaking further and had no contact until the
end-of-quarter break, but I did not forget this girl. To have the courage
to defy the emotions of a crowd, this girl had to be confident in who she was
and what she stood for. Admirable qualities not commonly encountered at that
age.
During the Christmas quarter break, most
students went home, but my home was in Nebraska, too far away, and Dawn was
committed to a job at a local medical clinic. Using a lame opening, I first
asked her out, and we started to get to know each other. Dawn grew up with a
mother who gave her little support; however, her father
was a quiet, steadying influence. He had served in WWII, crossing Utah beach on
D-Day, and participated in the advance across Europe into Germany until the end
of the war and occupation. He did not discuss his experiences, but simply went
on with life. Dawn was the oldest child, often looking after a younger sister,
and had learned by necessity to be responsible and independent.
In contrast, I was the youngest child in a
supportive home where I had no shortage of advice from parents plus an older
sister and brother. In childhood, I felt I was always being judged by others’
expectations of what I should do. I now enjoyed being entirely on my own. I had
applied for California residency and been accepted to the University of
California, despite my parents’ disapproval of such a move.
As we got to know each other, we discovered
how much we had in common, despite our different backgrounds. She, from upscale
Marin County (north across the Golden Gate bridge), and myself, with family and
relatives from the farms of Nebraska. We were both on our own, watching our
budgets carefully. We enjoyed simple things like walking on the beach, reading
at the library or newsstand, or hiking in the nearby Santa Ynez mountains. I
could also rent university-sponsored sailboats at the harbor. We believed in
the freedom that accepting individual responsibility brings and that all
options were open for our future. I had found a real partner.
Summer 1970, I had an
internship with 3M in St. Paul, MN, and Dawn came for a visit. We, along with
my apartment mate & his girlfriend (future wife), went camping on the north
shore of Lake Superior and canoe camping at BWCA. We were careful to watch for
bears when picking blueberries along the shore, but in the middle of the night
we had a bear sniffing at the thin nylon walls of our tents. Fortunately, with
all four of us yelling, we scared the bear away. Before we both returned to
Santa Barbara, I made a detour to Marin County to visit Dawn and meet her
family at her parent's home.
After graduation, I was living in Portland and
planned our wedding ceremony there at a small chapel with a pretty tulip garden
in a pleasant residential area. Meanwhile, Dawn dealt with her family. Her
parents disapproved, thinking she was too young (21) to get married. Her mother
did not attend. My parents provided unasked-for, but well-intentioned, advice,
and my brother tried to warn Dawn about my “irresponsibility” (perhaps years
ago?). Our wedding was the first time Dawn met my family. Brave girl! I was
glad that I had warned her about my family's penchant for advice and to trust
in what we had planned together.
Our wedding was small; we paid
for all wedding expenses ourselves, including a post-wedding dinner for
everyone at a fancy restaurant overlooking the Willamette River and Mount Hood.
Dawn deserved a fancier wedding. I was the lucky one with a strong, beautiful,
committed partner. My goal was to be the best person that I could be so that I
could feel I deserved to be at her side. We wanted no obligations to her family
or mine. Our new jobs permitted no honeymoon. We hiked, rode bicycles, and
sailed our 14’ Lido. We built our simple apartment furniture with hand tools
and saved funds for the future. But we were together at the start of a lifetime
adventure.
A year later we left Portland and spent three
months traveling, looking for our next beginning. Now it is 53 years later. Our adventure has taken us in many directions.
We have lived in 16 different towns or cities, 8 states, and 4 countries since
then. We have traveled to almost sixty countries, plus many repeats. Our children are happy
and prospering; we have been fortunate. The goals we shared and pursued have
come true and given us great satisfaction.
Dawn still loves to travel. We have a Fall trip to Europe and Turkiye planned and have made preliminary efforts toward a winter trip to the Caribbean (and beyond?). As long as we stay healthy ....
